What I Learned This Summer

1) Put the oxygen mask on myself first.
2) I am a professional too.
3) Be fearless.

1. Put the oxygen mask on myself first.

When a child has any kind of medical issue, be it a cold, cancer, or Autism, the parent goes into overdrive. The problem is that even a car cannot remain in overdrive forever. Neither can a person. I have been in overdrive waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too long. All the caretaking and worrying I've done for the past 8 years has taken a toll on me mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally.

I had bigger plans for my kids this summer. But my intuition was screaming, "Put the oxygen mask on yourself first." The analogy is, of course, when on an airplane, flight attendants always tell parents that in case of emergency, put the mask on themselves first and their child second. That seems counter intuitive to a parent. But the bottom line is, if you put the mask on your child first, you're giving her a chance to live, but you might not.

And that's how I've been feeling.

I listened to my inner wisdom and prayed about the best way to begin taking care of me. The answer came in the form of my friend Shay, who is a personal trainer. She told me about ChiRunning and ChiWalking. I started both and I can feel the difference. I have energy and mental clarity. Both are required for high-quality parenting :-).

And this weekend, I'm getting my Strength & Conditioning certification from the YMCA. Then I'll work on my ACE personal training certification!

So mamas, figure out a way to take care of you. Your children will thank you.

2. I am a professional too.

This doesn't apply to all moms, but I trained in Healing Touch, Reiki, yoga, children's yoga, pre-natal yoga even before my children were born. The intuition, vegan, and raw food part came later, but the bottom line is I've been in the holistic business for 11 years. People see me as someone who knows what she's talking about in those arenas.

But when I saw something not quite right with my children, fear and doubt kicked in, and stayed with me for years. I realize now that I abdicated my power to other authority figures. I don't regret the myriad of doctors, specialists, teachers, and the countless medical, academic, and speech tests. I've learned a great deal, and a team of professionals is necessary to help my children. (A holistic approach is needed, and I appreciate that.)

However, I'm a pro too. I tell my students in my intuition class, the key to a good reading is detachment, objectivity, and neutrality. It's difficult for a mom to be detached, objective, and neutral about her children. But it is possible to step back from them and not be so emotional about their issues. Thanks to #1 "putting the oxygen mask on myself," I realized that my children can benefit from my professional skills.

3) Be fearless.

My children have taught me to look at my deepest beliefs. I've been forced to ask myself, "Do I really think __________________ is true, or at least true for me?"

Here is what I know for sure: Disease starts in the energy field which is interdependent with the human body. Healing (not curing) is a multi-layered, multi-dimensional thing. We are mind, body, and spirit beings. Everything that has entered our consciousness from the moment of conception affects who we are now, and who we become. Everyone on Earth are inter-connected, and truly are One with each other.

I now choose to live from my core belief that the Universe is friendly to me (and everyone) and does respond to our deepest desires. When I feel myself at Raymond and Jona's college graduations, I am not "hoping" or "wishing." I am consciously, on purpose and with purpose, opening the energetic doors that will create that reality in their lives.

Being fearless rocks. ◦

What I Learned This Summer

Blow up at the Library

In my Technical Writing days, we were taught that when writing a professional document, to always start with good news and end with not-so-good news. I'll start with the not-so-good news.

I took the kids to our local library on Wednesday. They know us because we practically live there. I told the kids to get one DVD each. Raymond got one. Jona got four. While Jona was getting his four DVD, Raymond was getting agitated. His agitation is nothing new. He does not like change (as he told me today!). This is very Asperger's-like behavior. The neuropsychologist at Kennedy Krieger did list that as a diagnosis for him. But usually, Raymond is very mild-mannered.

I kept telling him I would handle it. My fear was that Jona would blow up inside the library and have a screaming fit.

Instead, it was the opposite. I let Jona get his four to keep him from screaming, but he is the one who has the behavioral issues. This time, Raymond let it RIP! Once we got to the check-out counter, Raymond was FIGHTING to keep Jona from taking home all those DVD's. I literally dragged Raymond out of there as he SCREAMED AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS.  He screamed like someone was trying to kill him and he was fighting for his life.

I sat them both down on the bench, right outside the front door. It took a while, maybe five minutes for Raymond to calm down. He kept saying, "Jona, can you take those DVDs back? You can only keep one!" After I calmed him down, I talked to Jona. I said, "Raymond is upset. He has one DVD and you can only have one."

I'm convinced Jona is going to join the ScreamFest, but he never did. The most I saw was a whimper. I coaxed three DVDs out of him, slowly. I put them in the outside bin. I gave Raymond lots of hugs and thanked Jona for cooperating.

Then I told Raymond I understood how he felt, but he can't go screaming like that again (I said it nicely). I took him back inside and he apologized to the librarians. He said, "I'm sorry I screamed in the library," without coaching.

Jona, on the other hand, was cool as a cucumber.

I must say I don't EVER want to experience that again. Raymond has shown signs of rigidity before. But he's never exploded like that. The experience was haunting for me. No one wants to see her child in such an emotionally charged state.

I took one major thing away: I have to be consistent in enforcing my rules. That's true for all parents. But the stakes are higher with Autistic children. You give them an inch, they'll take the whole town, not just a country mile.

The other take-away: stick with the healing plan. Jona is a different kid. I started him gluten-free on August 30th. There have been NO blow-ups, NO behavioral problems (outside of the DC VegFest in which there were simply too many people around him), and NO digestive issues. He's calm and cool. About an hour ago, I told him he couldn't watch his movie. Raymond was going to watch his. Jona said, "Okay, let's watch Raymond's movie."

Whaaaaaaaaaaaat? No tears? No tantrum? Is this Jona?

And he's picking up books on his on without prompting from me. This is WONDERFUL news!

So let the healing continue!

Love,
Althea ◦

Blow up at the Library