Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts

Monday, December 7, 2015

Perspective


As I mentioned before, me and the kids went to my friend Kristine's house for Thanksgiving. Our celebratory holiday was two weeks after the terror attacks in Paris. After dinner, the adults talked as adults do: about world news. The Paris attacks came up, as well as the 24/7 news coverage. Paul, Kristine's husband, who works for a branch of the American military, gave an interesting perspective. He said, "We live in a 24/7 news cycle which makes it seem like the world is on fire. Three billion people lived in domestic tranquility last night. But you are not going to see that on the news. That would be boring."

I liked Paul's thinking.

Then San Bernadino happened.

I did watch the coverage because I wanted to know what was going on. Somewhere in the midst of watching the news, I had a realization. I said to myself, "Three billion people lived in domestic tranquility last night. And I was one of them."

Our planet houses 7,386,188,920 people, and counting, according to the World Population Clock. Perhaps four or five billion people lived in domestic tranquility last night. That would leave two billion people, plus or minus a few hundred million, caught up in war, famine, civil unrest, corrupt governments, shootings, both police and domestic, incarceration, gang/territorial turf wars, domestic/physical/sexual abuse, human trafficking, kidnapping, family arguments over insert your disagreements here, flood, fire, foreclosure, natural and environmental disasters, racism, sexism, any-ism that disregards a person's humanity, drug/alcohol addiction, injustice, poverty, homelessness, debt, bankruptcy, accidents, hunger, disability, divorce, and/or grief and anguish over any of these things, including natural causes of death.

We all have personally lived through some of these things, and may live through worse before our lives come to an end. (And the fact that we did survive trauma is a testament to the human spirit.)

A 24/7 news cycle bombards the world with bad news. (Anyone remember when TV used to go OFF?? Ya'll remember the static? Can we return to that?) Folks thinking the world is worse than ever. No, it's not. We are now privy to all that badness, all day and all night.

I say:

-Choose Oneness. The ego enjoys separating us into groups. Everyone is most comfortable around their family and their "tribe:" the people who share your values. I am most comfortable around Black holistic intuitive women. They speak my language. However, I've learned the most from people who look nothing like me.
-Choose Peace. If you want peace, be peaceful. Handle your childhood shit and your grown-up baggage so you can radiate peace. Chaos within radiates fear, creates chaos, and ruins relationships.
And I am all for speaking truth to power (i.e., Black Lives Matter, etc.). Activism works. Societies evolve because of social movements. I am talking about handling your own personal stuff so you stand inside your power with peace and confidence.
-Choose Love. We are made from Love. Love is what we are born into (hopefully), and love is the last thing on our minds when we leave. In San Bernadino, one of the victims who did survive, called her sister to say she loved her, and asked her to tell their family the same. Same thing happened during 9/11. People on the planes, in the Twin Towers, and in the Pentagon called their loved ones to say, "I love you." When time is short, you realize love is what matters. Love yourself, and love others.

So the next time fear permeates the airwaves, turn off the TV. Do not read social media comments that spread fear and hate. Remember: "Three billion people lived in domestic tranquility last nightAnd I was one of them." Then go do something that brings you joy. The world is full of glorious laughter, passion, bliss, creativity, service, and joy.

Love,
Althea


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Wednesday, October 21, 2015

The Six Best Pieces of Advice I've Ever Received

Life is always teaching you something. I am finally listening....

1. Communication. Communication. Communication. - from my Grandma Pearl. Before I got married the first time (I've been married twice in case I never mentioned that), I asked my grandma the secret to a long marriage. She said, "Baby..." then she slapped her knee three times for each word for effect.. "it's communication, communication, communication."

This was my response: "WTF?"

I was 24 at the time. Not the brightest bulb in the box.

At 43, I get it.

Life will continue to kick you in the ass until you finally figure it out. It's like Oprah says, the lesson will come as a whisper, then a brick, until you get it. My mom says an entire brick wall fell on top of me around this one. This lesson applies to any intimate relationship and estranged family members and friends.

2. A marriage is a living breathing thing. When it dies, you must grieve the loss. - from Vivian Nichols. I met Vivian at the Yoga for Women of Color Retreat at Kripalu in May 2013. That November, she came to one of my yoga classes. I had been physically separated from Rom for four months at the time, so that advice came early on. It was the single best piece of advice I received around my divorce. It helped me move through all five stages of grief (denial, anger, depression, bargaining, acceptance) without getting stuck in one stage for too long. Which leads to:

3. Forgiveness. - every major spiritual text ever written. Prolonged anger and resentment toward people, places, and things only poisons your body, mind, and spirit. The greater the offense, the greater the pain, therefore the greater the need to forgive.

Self-forgiveness is a big one too. We all do stupid s&^$. We carry around shame and self-loathing way too long. I may have to write a long post on this one alone. I've seen it in myself and almost everyone I know. When you forgive yourself, you feel better about you. Which leads to:

4. When you love yourself, everything in your life works. - from Louise Hay. Don't sleep on this one. I have read You Can Heal Your Life like a bagazillion times. If I were stuck on an island, I'd take it and The Dynamic Laws of Prosperity by Catherine Ponder. Louise's premise is simple: most people don't love themselves. They don't think they are worthy of life's goodness. Back to what I said in #3 about forgiveness, we carry guilt, shame, anger, revenge around in our hearts and self-sabotage ourselves.

It's easy to roll your eyes around self-love. I have been working on this one, and I see the benefits. Louise advocates mirror work. Start here: http://www.louisehay.com/lovingyourself-video1

5. When you don't know what to do, love yourself. - from Gina Laverde. Piggybacking on #4...Gina just said this to me on Saturday. Today I lifted weights (back & biceps, and legs), practiced yoga nidra, and took a yoga class, all in one day. I haven't done anything like that for myself since I have had children. And Raymond is thirteen! I'm like, okay, this is cool. Lately, I haven't known what to do, so that is where the cleanse (Day 21!) came from. Do whatever you like. It can be simple. Watch a funny TV show. Massage your feet. Dance in your living room. You'll be able to think better afterward, and it will be easier to know what move to make when you feel lost.

6. Trust in Love for all your days. - my Mocha Angels. I channeled my Mocha Angels book in 2005. Every message started with "Trust in the Lord for all your days." Trust in God? Understood. But something wasn't right. It didn't click. I recently heard, "It's Trust in LOVE for all your days." THAT felt right to me. I interpret it to mean to always trust in something greater, bigger, and grander than yourself. Make Love the highest guide in your decision-making process. Love is unchanging, and it's the highest emotion we can feel for each other.

After my topsy-turvy 2015, I'm ready to listen to all of this awesome advice. Feel free to share the best advice you ever received.

Love,
Althea


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