Embracing Perimenopause

Karyn Calabrese, owner of Karyn's Fresh Corner Cafe in Chicago, Illinois, age 61, raw vegan for 25+ years

On Monday, March 16, I called my mother. I was a stressed-out mess. My period had ended yesterday, but I was still cramping. In fact, the cramps had stopped two days before, and had come back. I was in pain and confused. Four minutes into the call, I started crying. I said, "I'm cramping. I'm tense. I'm in pain. I'm anxious. I have no idea what is going on with me." My mom said, "That sounds just like me when I was thirty-seven." I cried a bit harder. Then she said, "You'll feel better when you're sixty."

WTF??????????? I don't want to wait until I'm sixty!! I want to look like Karyn Calabrese. I want to age gracefully!

I really started crying then. As she talked, her list of perimenopausal symptoms mirrored mine. I knew we had similarities, but I didn't know my mom had given birth to her twin. That would be me.

Althea
Age 11:
first period

Age 19:
first gray hairs

Age 30:
first baby
adult onset acne

Age 31:
first hot flashes
night sweats
mood swings
depression
not feeling like myself

Age 32:
second baby

Age 34:
tubal ligation
super heavy periods
exhaustion

Age 36:
insomnia
irregular periods
cramping after period ends
fatigue
lethargy
joint pain
mysterious bruising on thighs

Age 37:
memory loss
anxiety
dry skin

Mom
Age 11:
first period

Age 19:
first baby

Twenties:
very irregular periods
mood swings

Age 29:
second baby
tubal ligation

Thirties:
gray hair
anxiety
fuzzy thinking
mood swings
bloating mysterious bruising on thighs (which is a circulation problem, btw)

And it gets better. I also learned that my mom is not officially in menopause yet. A woman is in menopause when 12 months have passed since her last period. My mother will be 56 in two weeks. It's only been eight months since her last cycle. Fifty-six?? I was flabbergasted. We had both assumed because our menstrual cycles started when we were eleven that we'd be in menopause around 50-52 years of age. Not so. And then...yes, there is more...she says that we are estrogen-dominant, meaning we have too much of it in our bodies. The usual remedies, such as flaxseed, will not work for us. Great.

[insert curse word]

After our conversation though, my mom found a website that talks about estrogen dominance, what foods and herbs increase the amount of estrogen in the body, and the importance of liver cleansing: SensibleHealth.com.

These Minniepauz comics are funny, but I'm not the grandma in the comic. I'm the daughter, holding the baby, and is the one who cannot remember anything. I cannot remember any frickin' thing these days. I go upstairs and can't remember why I went up there. I'm forgetting names. I'm forgetting conversations. I sit down at the computer and can't remember why I'm here. The memory loss is what prompted my admission to myself that I am indeed in perimenopause.

A good list of perimenopause and menopause symptoms are here: Women to Women.



I struggled with even sharing this publicly. I once saw an episode of The Golden Girls (one of my favorite 80s shows) in which Blanche thought she was pregnant. It turned out she was menopausal. She was scared and ashamed because she was taught menopause was a curse. Women did not discuss "the change." I don't get that.

But even now, I was like, should I tell everyone? Are they going to think I'm crazy or not believe that a woman in her thirties could really be perimenopausal? Or are all the changes women go through scary in and of themselves and therefore hard to deal with? Why? Because it makes us look vulnerable and/or unstable.

I decided to share because I know I'm not the only one going through this. Stress is the number one issue in my life. I've talked about my stressors many times, and they can't be ignored. I've started exercising at the gym, almost everyday.

Next, I had to look at my diet to see where I could improve. I've still been stress eating with rice, cake, and chocolate (the EFT didn't hold). What perimenopause is telling me is that being a raw vegan is the best thing for me, and to take it even more seriously.

Greens, greens, and more greens.

I've focused on gourmet raw food, which is fine. The food has to be interesting or it will get boring. But now I realize that I need healing. If you go to Karyn's website, www.karynraw.com, she offers a promo DVD for free. On it, she says that she never suffered from any menopausual symptoms. I believe her. Karyn is an Ann Wigmore protege, and had the privilege of studying with Wigmore when she was alive.

Everything always goes back to living foods. I'm on the right track with the wheatgrass, but my diet continues to need an overhaul. Before I do the two-week cleanse, as laid out in the Ann Wigmore Home Study Program and one anyone can do at The Creative Health Institute, I'm adding more vegetable juices and salads to my diet. I'm in the middle of growing my own wheatgrass (the first batch I made didn't work, at all), and I've ordered soft wheatberries to make Rejuvelac. The process has begun to overhaul my kitchen.

Perimenopause is teaching me is that I have to place my own health first. Every mom puts tons of energy into her family while neglecting herself. That is a universal experience of mothers. But at some point, momma has to care for herself, or she will break down. Then the family suffers because of it. A lot of women do not want to place themselves first because they feel it's selfish. It's not selfish. It's self-care, and it's self-care for the family too. What good is a sick, broken-down mom to her family? None.

I have made a strawberry cheesecake and a "milk" chocolate fudge. Both came out great, and I'll have pictures for my next post. But after that, I'll focus on more green drinks, green foods, sprouting, Rejuvelac, and healing.

Love,
Althea

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Embracing Perimenopause