Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Challenges Along The Road of Healing

Days three and four of my "internal greening" went great. I had lots of smoothies, juices, and salads.
And then I fell off the wagon. Why? My response to challenges was not terrific. Everything happened all at once. On Saturday (April 18), in short, I was to get paid to cook for someone for 10 days. At the last second, she had to reschedule. It wasn't her fault, and the gig will happen soon, but the timing was horrible.

On Sunday (April 19), on the way to a birthday party, Raymond threw up in the car. Rom had to turn around and bring him home. I was at my yoga class...that no one showed up to. That night, my sister-in-law had a seizure.

We were watching "The Great Debaters" and we heard her moaning. We ran upstairs to see Laverne in the middle of an intense 10-minute seizure. We chose not to take her to the ER for two reasons: 1) with her last seizure in November, the hospital (supposedly one of the best in Maryland) released her the same day, with no diagnosis and no help. 2) Her then doctor gave her an EKG the next day. When it came back normal, the doc turned to me and said, "These things happen" and sent us out the door. I did not expect any help on Sunday. I knew it would be more of the same. I didn't sleep well that night.

On Monday, April 20, LaVerne had another seizure at her medical day program. Me and the kids went to pick up her and Ruby. A few hours later, I took Ruby to get some blood work done. Guess what happened? The engine light in the car came on. The car nearly stopped seven times. With loads of prayer, we managed to get her blood work done, and make it to the car dealer. I had planned to take LaVerne in today (Tuesday) to her new doctor, but it looks like her scheduled appointment for Thursday will remain.

With all of this happening, plus more, I was not doing well. The pressure was (is) immense. The good news was God/Universe/Creator was on the case. The car dealer is across the street from the library. Me and Ruby waited in the library for Rom to pick us up. My favorite librarian, Cherlyn, said, "There's something here for you. "

"Is it my movie?" I asked.

She looked for it. It wasn't shelved and they hadn't called me yet. "It's right here!" She'd pulled out
"You Can Heal Your Life" the DVD. Perfect. Perfect timing.

I watched the movie this morning. I'd give it five thumbs up if I had five thumbs :-). Raymond even watched parts of it with me. If you want to be inspired, here's your movie. Louise Hay talks about her life's challenges and how she came to be a spiritual teacher. Other people are interviewed, but it's the real people, the cancer survivors, who really make it special. I love seeing other people who have conquered hurdles and have come out of challenges healthier and happier. Love, love, love this movie.

I have been holding back my "magic" as one of my colleagues at Mystickal Voyage, Dr. Gwen MacGregor, keeps telling me. We all possess the "magic" which is not what it really is. It's personal power. Sometimes I think, are people going to think I'm wacky because I strive to be a raw vegan, or that I say I receive Angel messages? I've been holding back, and not putting myself out there as much as I could.

Fear is cyclical. If I put out fear (I can't...what if people think....I'm worried about....etc.), I get more of that back. And life is a reflection of what we believe.

I have not been walking fully in my spiritual truth. No wonder I have foot problems.

My life is out of balance. No wonder my right hip is torqued forward, leaving me to walk with a tiny limp.

I get scared sometimes about money. No wonder financial opportunities get choked off.

So I'm not saying I'm making radical changes in my life. I'm starting with my thinking. I'm writing all this to say there is no shame in my game. It's okay to fall off the wagon. Thankfully, my legs work fine, so I can get right back on it!

And this was the Mocha Angel message I got this morning:I trust in the Lord for all my days. Truth is my name. Magnificence is my destiny. I manifest the life that I want by proclaiming it in the NOW. Living the life of my dreams is INEVITABLE!

Life is meant to be a luscious creation of love, joy, beauty, excitement, passion, and glory. It's not meant to be hard. That's a condition we put on life. Difficulty is a man-made creation. There will always be grief and sadness, because when our loved ones die, we will grieve.

But everything else....racism, war, meanness, slavery, gossip, control-issues, terrorism, those are all man-made issues. Any belief that limits us or separates us from one another is a creation of man, not of God. We are made in the image and likeness of our Creator. That means we are Creators as well. We can create a life that is worthy of us. A life that is...loving, joyous, beautiful, exciting, passionate, and glorious......

I create a beautiful life today.

Love, The Mocha Angels

And, Love,



ChocolateOrchid said...

Wonderful post!! Thanks for sharing. I really needed to read this. I can relate about stresses in life. I'm working on adding daily morning affirmations and more prayer, meditation and yoga in my life.

Peace and blessings.

Serenity Love Sincere Peace Earth said...

I'm in aggreement with Chocolate Orchid... I needed to read this myself. I am going to print this and keep it with me. Keep elevating.


Anonymous said...

You have NO idea how much I needed to read this today! Well....you probably do. I feel so grateful and blessed to know you. Thank you, thank you for being an example of someone who is listening to the Spirit within, and not the ego with-out.

Iris said...

Love this post! I think I need to bookmark it for those moments when i get pulled down by fear and worry.


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