"There is no substitute for self-love. It is the foundation for all things and the starting point for any change."
December is a natural time to reflect. I love this blog, and I love all of you who read it. I started The Raw Mocha Angel to document my journey to raw vegan. Thank you for all the love along the way. Now, at the end of this year, I've had what I believe is a big breakthrough on this journey.
Or as Geneeth Roth writes in Women, Food, and God (and I'm paraphrasing): you can't heal yourself with self-loathing. Loving yourself will heal and free you. (And that sums of my review of her book which I promised months ago. That is the book in a nutshell.)
I subscribe to many blogs. Some of them belong to my readers. I've noticed a theme. Amongst the ones who are struggling with weight loss, I sense their frustration. I've shared the same frustration. I've been "trying" to lose the same 20 pounds for 2 years. So why, knowing I have Candida, was I still eating food that no longer served me? That's a lack of self-respect and love.
That is why people lose weight, then gain it back. It's because they haven't gotten to the core issue: learning to love themselves enough to heal.
When you are changing your diet, examine why you eat food that does not serve you. If you are a vegetarian who eats chicken when she's stressed, ask yourself why. If you know sugar makes you crazy, but you are taking bites of candy bars, what's up with that? A candy bar is not a candy bar when it's used as a Weapon of Emotional Destruction. It's now a poison that alters brain chemistry and sugar levels.
So what do you do? Self-loathing can come from many places: parents, family, partners, teachers, friends. For me, I noticed that I was upset with myself for some decisions I'd made between 2000 and 2010. But I've made some really fantastic choices in 11 years. I wasn't celebrating those choices (like starting this blog, easily in my top 5 best choices of the past decade).
I've worked on Acceptance. I can't change the past. It's over. And mind you, this took a few weeks to grasp. Then I came to Gratitude. I am incredibly grateful for my life, and all the people in it. That led to a Peace inside of me. All is truly well in my world.
Intenders Circle in December. (And http://www.intenders.com/ and http://www.intenders.org/ are the same people. I am listed as leading a circle, but I'm not right now.) Intenders is all about creating the life that you really want. We'll meet twice a month. My friend Charli, who lives in California and attends an Intenders Circle in her area, and myself now call each other everyday to say our intentions. Having a buddy who helps lift you up daily is a big help.
I'm not a big fan of New Year's Resolutions. By March, those have been put to the side of the road. They don't stick because the changes you want to make sound great. You really want to make those changes. But you've got to do a lot of self-work, outer and inner cleansing and purging, and cutting folks from your life. And that takes Courage. Fear, as it loves to do, will stop you before you take Step 1.
Believe that you deserve the life of your dreams. While this post is short, I hope that it hope it helps you begin to love YOU.