Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Day 2: Teensy-weensy breakthrough

I felt like crap the first half of the day, total nausea but it was interesting.
I had to drink:
2 cups sesame seed milk
8 cups blood orange/banana/ collard smoothie
1/2 cup blood orange/broccoli/collard juice
6 cups of water

On Monday night, I'd had a dream that I'd gotten into a minor car accident. I wasn't paying attention and I hit an outdoor furnace and water heater. My car dented both of them. Then I left the car so I could look for my insurance card in my purse. It took me an hour to look for it and I didn't find it. Anybody remember the 1980's R&B group DeBarge? Well, they were with me at this Asian market where I was looking for my insurance. I was so distracted that I didn't ask, "Um, what are ya'll doing here?" Then it hit me that my insurance card was in the car. I totally was not paying attention.

So on Tuesday, I was in the bank depositing Alpha Son's Tooth Fairy Money. They had candy bars for sale for a dollar. I was like, "I have a dollar." I'm reaching for my dollar when I realized that I AM ON A FAST. Good Lord, I am dense sometimes.

I remembered the dream in that moment. Unconscious eating. Not paying attention. Unnecessary accident. Not seeing what is right in front of me. Doh! How many times have I, or the rest of us, ate something without thinking about it? That hit me again today (Day 3) while at the grocery store. We are SURROUNDED by food. I felt like RJ in the movie Over The Hedge when he was screaming "Food. Food. FOOD!" I felt so weird being around all that food.

Heart Opening insy-weensy moment: I had to work last night, so I ask my older relative to wash the dishes. As I was leaving, she was looking down at the sink and she had the same look on her face as she did when I found her unresponsive in her room two months ago. Something in my heart cracked open. I felt for her. I really did. I said, "Thank you for washing the dishes." She replied, "And thank you for the dinner." It was small but it was a moment.

Detox symptoms: white tongue, nausea, zit on my nose...cute :-) ◦

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